 posted Dec-05-2007 10:35 AM
  
This one is close and not dirty.A bloke goes into a bar and orders a beer. The barman gives him a beer and a bowl of nuts. The fellah starts drinking his beer and munches on a few nuts when suddenly he hears a soft voice, "Hey that's a nice tie". The bloke looks around and sees no one except the barman at the other end of the bar. He takes another sip of his beer and munches a few more nuts when again he hears the soft voice "You are looking good, have you lost weight?". He looks around, dazed and confused, and only sees the barman busily doing barman stuff down at the other end of the bar. He has another sip of his beer, a few more nuts, and the same thing happens again, the soft voice, "Jaysus, where do you buy your clothes? I simply love your jacket". The bloke calls the barman down. "Do you hear voices?" he asks nervously. "Voices Sir?" the barman asks, thinking he's got a weirdo sitting at the bar. "Yeah, watch this" says the bloke. He sips his beer and munches a handful of nuts. Sure enough there's the soft voice. "Man are you smart or what." "Oh, that", says the barman, "its the nuts." "The nuts?", asks the guy. "Yes" says the barman, "they're complimentary."
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